


The Moon and Back

by missmallorymarie



Series: Missing Pieces [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: F/M, Friendship, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Reader-Insert, Self-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-10
Updated: 2018-04-10
Packaged: 2019-04-21 00:58:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14273490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missmallorymarie/pseuds/missmallorymarie
Summary: With the love of your life presumably gone forever, you and one of his closest friends form an unbreakable bond in helping each other through these dark times. After all, Shiro did tell Keith to take care of you in his absence.





	The Moon and Back

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome, friends, I'm back on the angtsy feels train. I've had a good amount of positive feedback on the work that started this all, so I figured I'd make this a set. You will probably be lost slightly if you haven't read the first work in this series, so if you're new, go ahead and check that out. I'm actually pretty proud of it. I felt like I left enough wiggle room in that one that I might be able to expand upon things.
> 
> I'm strongly hoping to further develop the dynamic between the reader and Keith in this, and maybe fill in the gaps between the failed mission and Shiro's crash-landing back on Earth. 
> 
> My apologies that I wasn't able to continue the gender-neutral reader perspective on this one. I am, to a degree, writing from a very personal place so some aspects of myself are bound to seep in. I'm trying to monitor that to the best of my capabilities.
> 
> Thanks, and I hope you'll stick around to see where this goes. I'm excited to find out myself.

In the following weeks, you grew accustomed to the loneliness that loomed over you day in and day out. Nothing really improved, but nothing felt like it was getting worse either. You hadn’t felt much like going anywhere or doing anything, but you made the effort to make a few public appearances here and there. There had been a candlelit vigil held in honor of the fallen soldiers of the Kerberos mission. People were constantly bombarding you throughout the night, wondering if you were _really_ doing as well as you claimed. Of course you weren’t, but you weren’t about to give them the satisfaction of coddling you like some child that couldn’t take care of itself. You were trying to be strong, if only to preserve the perception of you that the others held.

 Thankfully Keith had been there, noticing the crowds hounding you with overwhelming sympathy and taking it upon himself to act as the buffer between them and you. How he had managed to sneak on Garrison property after his “incident” with Iverson, you had no idea. But you knew your knight in shining armor had arrived as soon as you spotted him, mentally pleading him to come step in. You two hadn’t been as close as he and Shiro, but you felt a connection to him by the mere association, if nothing else. One thing, you noted, was that Keith was a man of action rather than of many words. After shooing away the masses, returning your personal space bubble to its former glory, he shot you a glance. Everything he needed to say, he said with his eyes.

_Are you okay?_ He asked you with a genuineness the others lacked.

You smiled weakly in return, meeting his gaze.

_Better now. Thanks for that._ You hoped he had caught on and recognized that you didn’t want him to go.

He stood close by your side, placing the palm of his hand firmly against the middle of you back. You relaxed into him. It was difficult enough as was; not knowing what your next step should be, not knowing how to react, not knowing how people wanted you to react. There were too many unknowns. But when Keith was close, you felt like you at least had someone who understood what you were going through on a level that no one else knew. He knew these little ways to comfort you and guide you, making you feel safe even though you both had no idea what you were doing.

Keith was one of, if not _the_ only person you regarded as a true friend through this. You had been pushing him away initially but being that man of his word that he was, he persisted. He stubbornly wouldn’t leave you to your own devices, especially when Shiro had trusted him to make sure you were taken care of while he was gone, and if anything happened to him.

 Other than the occasional dinner out with Keith, there wasn’t much reason for you to leave the apartment. It smelled like Shiro. The aura was heavy with his presence. Why should you leave? Besides, your work with the Garrison didn’t exactly require you to go to your office, so you set up your burrow at home. You made a few ventures down to the laboratory now and again to key analyzed data sets into the mainframe and to pick up more field data to toy with. But these adventures often required a great deal of numbing yourself before you were able to stomach the atmosphere. One of the underclassmen, Carlos, had been assigned as your lab assistant. You felt you could trust him to handle situations that may arise within the department in your absence. He knew how to get in touch with you if he needed to. He seemed distant, like he didn’t know how to approach you so he just...tiptoed. You hadn’t minded, though. You were certain you were projecting an energy more somber and melancholy than he was used to seeing from you. You decided not to mention it to him.

So here you sat, rolled into a blanket burrito on the sofa, pretending you were actually paying attention to the syntactic anomalies on your monitor when you were actually gazing through the glass door that led out to the terrace, engrossed in the brightness of the moon. Absentmindedly, you clapped along with the _Friends_ theme song coming from the TV you’d left on for background noise. You wondered to yourself when the last time had been that the moon shone like this.

Your fingers flicked at the dog tags that hung against your chest, situating themselves in your cleavage. Though you had an entire apartment full of memories to surround yourself in, there was some strange, more intimate connection to Shiro that you felt with his dog tags strung around your neck. They softly clinked against your own as you clutched them all together.

There came a gentle rapping upon the front door that startled you from your trance. Setting your computer on the other end of the couch, you shuffled your way to the entryway, all the while still cocooned in your blanket. You made sure to check the peephole before undoing the deadbolt and letting Keith into your home.

He strode on, brandishing a lasagna pan that would surely keep you nourished for the next three days.

“You don’t have to keep feeding me, you know,” you protested, secretly grateful to Keith for fussing over you in his own way.

He set his dish on the counter, and with his tone both caring and playful he retorted, “Well, one of us has to.”

He made note of the two wine glasses you’d set out on the counter earlier, one half empty and the other completely clean. You found it easier to concentrate with a little something to loosen you up. You also found it easier to not feel so alone when you set out a second glass for he who wouldn’t be joining you anytime soon. He might show up, though. Maybe? No. You knew it was impossible, and you didn’t know why you made the attempt to fool yourself. It was all you could do to stay sane, and Keith knew you struggled and said nothing.

Instead, he plated your supper and brought it to where you’d reseated yourself on the couch. He delicately placed your work on the table and took the spot in which it had resided. You took the glass first, intending to take a delicate sip but instead getting a full gulp. It wasn’t even good wine. It was cheap and it burned the back of your throat. You didn’t even really care for wine all that much. But it was what was on hand, and it got the job done.

“Easy, easy there,” Keith murmured, gently coaxing the glass from your hand.

_Heh_ , you thought. _He’s a good kid._

You relinquished your grasp at the base, allowing Keith to set it on the other side of the table, away from your computer. You pulled your knees up toward your body, the moon again catching your eye. Keith noticed when you sighed almost wistfully, as if longing to reach out and pluck the moon from the sky and keep it for your own.

“I have no idea how you manage to keep sneaking onto Garrison property,” you broke the silence, glancing sideways in his direction. “Iverson’s really got beef with you, you know. He has everyone keeping an eye out for you.”

Keith chuckled. “Well, to be fair, Iverson needs all the help with keeping his eyes out as he can get,” he quipped, mentally admiring his own handiwork. Where your response to the mission failure had been more of a total emotional shutdown, Keith’s was aggressive. Shiro always mentioned Keith endearingly, saying he was a young gun with a short fuse, but his heart was always in the right place.

Humor also wasn’t always his strongest suit, but you appreciated Keith’s attempt at comforting you with wordplay.

You bade him scoot closer, digging your shoulder into him as you shifted your weight to lean against him. He wasn’t really a hugger, either, but these tender affections brought with them a familiar ambiance you couldn’t explain. And truth be told, he didn’t mind either. You were both vulnerable, emotionally raw and seeking warmth and companionship. His arm fell across your shoulder, the weight and pressure relaxing. Your eyes remained fixed on the cosmos, the moon seeming to stare back at you as intently as you watched it.

“Sure is bright tonight, isn’t it?” Keith asked, drawing your focus back to Earth.

“Mhm.”

Silence fell over the room once more, until the guilt ate at you for leaving Keith hanging. You sighed.

“On our first date, we went out behind the hangars and just…spent hours looking out at the sky. He was so fascinated by it all, and who could blame him? Space is so cool. It’s so...infinite.”

Keith gave your arm a reassuring squeeze.

“It confused him. It terrified him. It made him feel so small and insignificant in the grand scheme of the universe, but he still looked to the sky with such awe and reverence. He always...he always felt drawn to it. He told me that he…”

Your breath hitched. You could feel a lump building in your throat and your composure fading fast and hard. You were already caught in this landslide, you may as well ride it.

“He always said he wanted to see it all. I just…I wonder how much of it he actually got to see before he…before…he…”

And like that, the crack in your façade became a full, clean split. Tears were falling hot from your eyes, and your cheeks burning both with embarrassment and from the trails the tears left in their descent. Keith offered his sleeve, letting you use him as a human pocket hanky. You were mindful only to dry your cheeks with it, lest you need to blow your nose.

He let his hand run up and down your upper arm with docility.

“Shiro was a nerd. I’m sure he cherished every sight he saw out there,” he reassured. You smiled weakly at the “nerd” bit, because, well, Keith wasn’t wrong. He was a dork. Huge dork. A nerd of gargantuan proportions. _Your_ nerd.

“But you know, when he was preparing for that mission, he always said that you were the only star that mattered to him, and that everything out there would pale in comparison to you.”

And the throat lump made its return.

“He really loved you. I was almost worried about how taken he was by you for a while. That is, until I met you. I don’t think I’ve ever seen two people that cared for each other so much. If anyone could make me believe in soulmates, it would be you and Shiro.”

As Keith spoke, you could practically hear the words coming from Shiro himself. It was as though he himself were speaking through Keith, and his words filled you with a warmth you hadn’t known for a long while.

You finally mustered up the energy to fight past the lump and speak up.

“You went on a lot of those camping trips with him, right? The ones they tried to pass off as ‘exploratory mission simulators’?”

Keith nodded his response.

“When he had to go on those, he would tell me to look toward the moon if I missed him. Said that no matter where he was, he’d be looking at it and missing me too. I know it’s dumb to fall back on it now but… I hope that wherever he is, he knows I miss him.”

The words tumbled out of your mouth before what you had said actually hit you. Keith recognized it. The tears came again to burn your eyes, and you buried yourself into Keith’s chest. You clung to him with one hand, and clutched Shiro’s dog tags in the other. You were blubbering before you realized it. You shivered and sniffled and stained Keith’s shirt with your tears. You were embarrassed at your behavior, mentally berating yourself for coming so far undone in front of the one person who seemed so in control of his emotions, so steady through it all. That is, until you felt something fall on your head.

You felt it again. And again.

You came to determine that he, too, was crying. He steeled you against his chest, his own breathing unsteady and shallow as he did just as you were doing. You took solace in each other’s embrace.

Time stilled as you two mourned together. It was almost bittersweet, feeling such a close and intimate connection with another person again. The circumstances were unfortunate and less than ideal to say the least, but at least you had each other.

The hour came and went before you and Keith relaxed and unembraced. You sat up, feeling as though all your strength had been drained from your body but also like a weight had lifted. Your eyes felt puffy, dry, and raw. You sniffed and rubbed the back of your sleeve against the tip of your nose.

You didn’t know what you’d be doing now if you didn’t have Keith. No longer did you feel like your last connection to Shiro was the little metal tabs that adorned your décolletage. No, Shiro would always be in your heart, a core piece of your very being. But there was also a part of him that resided within Keith. Together, the pair of you were stronger than either one would could be on their own.

Weakly smacking at Keith’s shoulder, you did your best to express this to him.

“Hey Keith?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m glad you’re here.”

A smile spread slowly but surely across his equally swollen face. He looked at least half the mess that you felt.

“C’mon. You need to eat something. I’ll reheat the lasagna.”

His arm slung around your shoulder, he gave a quick squeeze before rising to his feet, closing your laptop on the table, clicking the volume up on your show, and making a beeline for the microwave.

It was going to be a relatively fine evening.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, thanks for checking out my work. Feedback is always welcome, and I'm also editing myself, which as any writer knows, is not always the greatest of ideas, so apologies if I hecked up. 
> 
> You can find me on tumblr @ourlordandseivior if you want my bullshittery in your life, or if you want to send me any feedback there as well. 
> 
> Who knows what could happen next?  
> Cue X-Files theme
> 
> xoxo
> 
> UPDATE: I've made a writing blog if anyone is interested! Come check me out at @nebulous-library on tumblr


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